Monday, August 6, 2012

Alpha move: dress better

Over on Hooking Up Smart, a commenter named Cooper had some questions about why he was attracting the wrong kinds of women. It seems that he has no problem attracting women, but he’s looking for a potential Mrs. Cooper.

I’m not going to suggest that Cooper’s wardrobe is entirely responsible for his problem. There’s a lot going on here, and his clothing choice is only a small part of it. But it’s probably the easiest part to fix.

Cooper says he’s partial to “Obey shirts.” Being of a certain age, I had no idea what an Obey shirt is, so I had to check out their web site. My immediate advice to Cooper was to stop wearing them. He’s in his mid-twenties, so he may be able to get away with wearing graphic tees for a few more years. But even as young as he is, such clothing is not optimal.

I think part of Cooper’s problem is that the graphic tees send a message about him, and that message says that he’s either an adolescent or a thug. That’s directly relevant to his situation, because Red Pill dudes know that adolescents and thugs have no problem attracting women. If he wanted to be like Heartiste or RooshV and tally up a string of one-night-stands, he’d be doing fine. But Cooper is looking for a long-term relationship. Women who are attracted to adolescents and thugs are not LTR material.

A good rule of thumb is to dress one notch above those around you. If you’re a college student and your classmates are all wearing tee shirts, try wearing a polo shirt instead. If casual Friday at your office means all of the men are in polo shirts and khakis, then wear some nice wool slacks and a button down shirt. Don’t be afraid to put on a sport coat when going out to a club. If all the other men are in sport coats, wear a suit. If everyone is wearing a suit, be the guy in the bow tie or the guy with the brightly colored pocket square. 

If you’re over 30 years old, save the graphic tees for doing yard work or changing the oil in your car.

If you need some help with your wardrobe, check out Tanner over at Masculine Style.  Some of his suggestions are a bit too fashion-forward for a guy my age, but he has some good insights on how a man should dress.
Clothes may not make the man, but they do say something about him. What are your clothes saying about you?


  1. Good suggestions, Aleph. I can get away with the jeans-and-t-shirt look at my age only because I'm a writer, they don't have a dress code in porn, and I'm married. If I was actually looking for a wife, I'd be far, far more careful in how I dress.

    As it is, I might need to go down a notch. Mrs. I and I were shopping for Tax-Free day this weekend, and I got hit on twice while she was in the dressing room. I was even holding her purse and trying to look as Beta as possible. While it was good for my ego, I really don't try to attract that kind of attention. I think there are just a lot of desperate women out there.

    1. There is not a shortage of good men but there is a shortage of masculine men.